Long John

One persistent, I don’t know, “theme”?…”idea”?…”problem?”…throughout the comics I’ve made has been a general disregard for names. My previous comic had a character whose name, it turns out, wasn’t his actual name at all (and he shared the exact first name with a villain, with whom he was raised…it’s complicated). A short story I wrote in college won a place in a university writing contest that had no character names at all. That tendency underpins the entirety of Long John as well, to the mild frustration of a few, I’m sure. Every main character has a name that’s a variation on “John”: Long John, Juan John, Jonny Mono, Hellrider (also known as Hellrider Jackie), Rich Jack. There are probably more that I just can’t think of.

Now, I’m throwing around the Hellrider name like it’s an inherited title. I’m not going to try and analyze my own thematic tendencies––I just like playing around with names because it’s fun for me. I do enjoy how mercurial names actually are; depending on who you are, how you know me, or when you knew me, I have been regularly called no fewer than five different names. Let’s not even talk about how many names each of my pets currently has (with more stewing, for sure).

I would bet part of it stems from the ridiculous hype built around the series finale of the hilarious and groundbreaking HBO sitcom, Sex and the City, where it was promised the real name of the main character’s long term on again, off again rich boyfriend would be revealed. Up until that point, he had only been referred to by a pseudonym: Mr. Big. ––SPOILERS FOR THE SEX AND THE CITY SERIES FINALE FROM 2004–– Then, the big day arrived, the finale aired, and at the end we saw his caller ID on Carrie Bradshaw’s phone and it simply said (and this is unintentional, I promise): John. I guess it was nice to know his first name, but it wasn’t revelatory like we hoped it would be, though I don’t really know how learning a rich dude’s first name would be in any way revelatory.

It meant nothing. And, in a lot of ways, names mean nothing––meaning is ascribed to them by other people. To me––and to Long John throughout this story––who you are is less about what you’re called and completely about what you do.

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